Love is a powerful drug when it first enters the bloodstream. There are books and reports and blogs and newspaper columns all dedicated to the subject. It's a well known fact the the love feeling only lasts for 1-3 years and then after that it is "work." I know most of the theories came from professionals in the career, but I called bullshit on that a long time ago. I still love my wife. I'm still in love with my wife. But am I really just in love with the idea of my wife. My idea of her used to be this sex goddess with dark hair and beautiful eyes that loved me for me and all of my flaws. I still see her as a goddess but one who cannot stand my flaws, and definitely not the sex crazed girl I once knew.

This "ceremony" that we are going to have on our anniversary is still throwing me off. I spoke with a friend about it last night and pretty much decided that if you are going to forgive and forget then burning pieces of paper to do so shouldn't be needed. Basically all it does is say "here are all of the things you've fucked up on in the last 7 years on paper. Here are all of the things that I've had to put up with and deal with." I don't need to hear it one more time and I don't need to burn a piece of paper signifying the forgiveness. If you forgive me then don't bring it up. Let it go. I still don't know what to write. I tend to think I don't hold any grudges. I can't think of something she's done in the past to make me feel so strongly that I have to write it down and send it to ash.

I did tell her I couldn't think of anything to write. She said it can be anything, things to accomplish, goals, etc. I think by doing that is missing the point.

Enough sideskipping work. Maybe more later.